Wedded Bliss.

I must start by saying: I’m not normally the type to walk away from a wedding feeling especially inspired. I was never the 7-year-old who planned out every last detail of my special day, nor did I ever really dream up my own version of Prince Charming. However, on Friday I attended the wedding of a co-worker and good friend, and have since been unable to stop replaying the entire evening in my mind. Our wonderful minister said a few words that have been stuck in my head since the moment they left his lips. He spoke about the fact that so much emphasis seems to be placed on passion, spark, and love… but “What about friendship?”

“I believe friendship is the catalyst of love and romance.” - Reverend Ed Norton

This one sentence has been resonating with me for the last few days. Maybe it’s my southern roots and the undeniable pressure on girls to be married or engaged by the time they graduate college (which is a whole different issue), but marriage in general has been on my mind lately. Let’s face it: this is the truth that no one wants to accept. Society throws these “storybook romances” in our face every chance it gets - movies, novels, television shows - it’s never-ending. Everyone wants their shot at a perfect, passion-filled “happily ever after.” It’s human nature, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But what happens when (inevitably) the passion, the spark… go away? Rev. Norton was right. Without friendship, there is nothing.
Here’s one we’ve all heard before: “You should marry your best friend.” Well, I’m no expert on married life, but it sounds about right to me. But why? Well, in my experience (personal and otherwise), because you will never find anyone more true. Whether they’ve been your friend for years or your friendship developed right alongside your relationship, you can’t really ask for more than that. Friendship means trust, comfort, reliability, accountability, and, most importantly, love. Friendship places the building blocks for a strong relationship. It takes some people years to find themselves at this level; others are blessed enough to be there from day 1.
Sadly this means that along the way, we’ll lose some of those friends. I’m learning that as I get older, I must accept the reality that friendships and relationships change constantly. And, in a lot of ways, it becomes more and more difficult to have friends of the opposite sex. With each new relationship comes a new friendship that can’t be equaled. I can’t compete with my guy friends’ girlfriends, just as they can’t compete with whoever may hold that spot in my life at the time. Sometimes that is hard for us to understand, hard for us to deal with; but it’s simply a part of life. We have to learn to let go, to give up our title of best friend.

So my advice? When you finally find that person you aren’t willing to give that up for… hold on to them. I don’t know who I’ll marry. I don’t know if it will be someone I have yet to meet, or if it is someone who has been sitting right in front of me. My future hasn’t been decided. All I know for sure, is that whether I’m 25 or 50, the man standing at the end of my aisle will be nothing short of my best friend.